Bad me...Vewy Bad Me!

OK, so I'm not fulfilling my promise to myself to blog daily. A lot of stuff going on. Helping friends work thru issues, dealing with drama and stuff at work, now dealing with, as of Friday, not having a job. I knew it was coming and G, my boss, was surprised that I didn't freak. 1st of all, because I knew it was coming, odd as it sounds, it was a relief. I was no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop. It dropped at 3:30 ish. G had a 4:30 appt in Wake Forest and D was off and B, C and D2 were gone. I knew they couldn't afford me back in December. G felt like, as he put it, 'I shouldn't be surprised.' I wasn't. Then he said 'you don't seem surprised.' I'm not. I wasn't. I teared up a bit but was OK. I picked up my deskpad, mousepad and calendar Monday and dropped off some stuff.



It is what it is. they're giving me severance pay which I appreciate. I've updated my resume and references. I'm applying wherever I can think of. Trying to be upbeat. Told mom, Nicole and Robyn thus far. I called Dad & Sean. It's funny having bill collectors call bc they call, talk, talk, talk then stop [it would be helpful if they stopped to make sure they were still talking to a person but whatever] and the 1st thing I say is 'well, that's all kinds of lovely but I lost my job Friday and I don't know what to tell ya!' They're speechless then they go to 'so you don't have any money to make your account current?' Someone give that person a gold star! Hello, if I have a place to live 4/1....I got my big girl panties on and now I'm going to deal with it.

If you got the review I got in December, you would not have been shocked either. It was cruel, scathing, meant to make me say 'screw it, I quit'. That was so not gonna happen. I knew it was a matter of time. Every day I thought 'is today the day?' I always thought 'ok, who's gonna do it? ?' There is a point after which there is no return. Their program coach had informed them back in December that they could not afford to keep me.

They have several problems, not the least of which is that they are totally incompatible personalities. Neither of them knows how to apologize for anything. Then again to them they are never wrong. Then he said that I was not a good manager at all. Well that's hard to do when you're given a task then how you do it is either 'not what they expected' or it is done wrong and you're given no guidance about doing it 'right' or you're just lectured which is useful only if you're in college and taking notes or if you're military. So yeah.

I'm hunting, applying, hunting more. I will get there. Wherever there is.