Why Is "All Of This" So Hard?

One of my dearest friends, who is attending both individual and marriage therapy at my urging, asked me this recently. I said,'by "all of this" I assume you mean the work, the digging up hard feelings, hurt feelings, drama, crap, old stuff, etc.?'

She: 'uh, yes'
Me:'Honey, I promise you will be, for better or worse, but most likely better, in a new, better place when all is said and done. I also promise you it will be hard work, it will hurt, it will burn, sting and make you want to just stop. The good about therapy is that once you've started....well, it's kinda like taking all the crap out of your closet, putting it everywhere to sort it into 3 categories and then put it back...only when you put it back you can see it all, find it all and everything actually fits!!!...you can't just stop and decide you're done. Well you can but then you're stuck looking at it and you're missing that space you had bc it's covered by crap you likely don't even remember you had/don't need/doesn't fit.'

I had to remind her of the rule with me: if you want me to tell you what you want to hear, tell me so I can repeat it back to you...if you want the truth, brace yourself and stand back. No, I'm serious.

So, we move on to my mom. Mom is doing amazing, seriously. She has a long, long way to go but she's doing a great job with therapy and the whole thing. So we had therapy last week and she was pouting. She doesn't like her leg brace, which is now off, thank you very much nor does she like the wrist brace, which she was told she could take off after a month..so it is now on part-time only. So she's doing her exercises and we're making the knee flex, the knee cap move. It's pretty cool but it's ridiculous too. So last week we're at her PT appointment and the therapist notices 'hey, youre braces are both off and you're not using the cane!' Mom thinks she's being cool and says something about it rubs and the other 5 excuses she uses. So then she says 'oh so you've been back to the doctor [since last I saw you, 7 days ago]?' Mom:'uh, no' Me:'she's just over it'
Therapist: 'so you're still supposed to be wearing the brace, per dr's orders, until 7/7?'
Mom: 'well, i talked to the dr's office and they said whatever i'm comfortable with.'
Mom thinks that they think less of her because she's 63 and she may 'fall'. I'm like mom, no golf, no moving that joint in that way, no pitching even! The tendon's aren't 100% yet.
GOD BLESS THE THERAPIST FOR SAYING EXSCTLY WHAT I SAID!!! and then when we got home, I made mom repeat it to Dave. I'm not trying to be mean, but I've seen dancers do some small thing they've done 1,000 times that this one time messed them up and threw them off or set them back in their recovery. Mom's getting better at putting the effort into exercising and listening to me. It is hard because you were hit head on and you were hurt in many ways. You are recovering and it's painful...but it'll be worth it when you can golf again.

I once saw an e-mail that talked about a caterpillar and the little boy who tried to help the little thing. Long story short,the caterpillar needs that struggle and the journey of growth in the cocoon before it comes out a butterfly to build strong wings and the whole thing and when the little boy tried to help by breaking the cocoon open, the butterfly was 'free' but it was also inprisoned because it couldn't sustain itself and died shortly thereafter. Things are hard to make us stronger, better...that which does not kill you....