So, I'm waiting to be told I'm officially approved for my new apartment. I qualify but I'm still nervous and focus has been hard to come by and I know, being nervous, having a fragmented mind and all of it are not helpful or healthy and that, like everything else in life, God will do His thing and it is what it is.
I just thought I'd share.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
NASCAR's Memorial Day Tribute
Today I witnessed something very rare, meaningful and moving. NASCAR's Coca Cola 600 was supposed to occur yesterday but rain postponed it until today. Today being Memorial Day, a Presidential Declaration asks the country to observe a nationwide moment of silence at 3PM. NASCAR stopped the race at 2:58PM. Every single fan stood up, hats removed, all the driver teams lined up along pit road and the drivers were brought around to the front straight-away and stopped, engines shut off. The whole of Lowe's Motor Speedway in Charlotte was silent for about 2 minutes. One of the coolest, grandest things I've seen in a long time. The sport so many people diss as 'redneck' and 'not a "real" sport' stopped the game to observe a moment of silence. Grown men cried. Not that that's a goal but it was really that touching. It's a small thing that you won't even know about if you're not a NASCAR fan but a sold-out race track of people watching a race, stopped 1 for rain, stopped completely, a 2nd time, to honor our men and women in uniform. It doesn't get cooler than that.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
My Day in Court
On April 17th, I was blessed with the experience of visiting small claims court. I don't say that sarcastically but rather in a serious manner because I believe there was a reason for it, aside from the obvious one. You cannot speak to something you've never experienced and you cannot empathize unless you've been there. I don't wish what I've gone through on anyone but I believe I will come out a better person for this.
So, allow me to back up just a bit. Roughly a week prior to my court date, I started googling various terms: 'small claims court', 'mediation' and the like. I wanted to know what would happen. What I got was all about the plaintiff and what a plaintiff can do, get, demand or expect. The only thing I found regarding defendants was blame, shame and 'well, you shouldn't have gotten yourself into that situation to begin with, you idiot!' and other condescending statements. Oddly, not terribly helpful. I vowed at that moment that whatever I learned and experienced I would write about it so that I could be helpful.
First of all, I will say that, yes, there are people who deliberately use and abuse credit and those people have lessons to learn, punishments to deal with and changes to make. That's not a judgement call that's just how it is.
Secondly, I will also tell you that there are plenty of people, myself included, who got credit cards, loans, revolving accounts and the like when they were holding down decent to great jobs and life was good. I was working for a builder in another state, making north of $40,000 and life was good. I went, not 7 months later, to a lay off. I got another job, making less than $40,000, 2 months later, in real estate.
Fast-forward to March, 2008. I was laid off because I was making more than my bosses, the owners of the company which employed me. I've not worked full-time since. I couldn't get unemployment due to small business regulations in the state I lived in. To save a lot of time, drama and info sharing that I don't wish to bore you with, I did everything I knew to do to pay the minimums on my bills, including moving in with my parents and so forth.
Every time I tried to deal with this particular credit card company they rebuffed me with 'that's not enough money'. Fine. Sue me. So they did. Well, actually, they sold my account to collection agency/law firm. They called and harassed me, suggested I prostitute myself and so forth. Apparently being cruel, inhumane, rude and obnoxious is supposed to milk blood from a turnip. Then they moved on to 'well, if you don't pay us, you'll get summoned to court then you'll have to pay what you owe PLUS court costs.' And this is going to get your your money how??
So,fast-forward to the court date. I go in to the court room and take a seat, because you have to. You may not stand while you wait. It's Small Claims Court. My judge was very efficient. He explained what was going to happen and started calling cases such as Orchard Bank vs. Marie Smith. It goes something like this:
Judge: Orchard Bank vs. Marie Smith
(Orchard Bank appears telephonically [by phone] if need be.
Marie Smith walks up to the podium.
J: Good morning, Ms. Smith, how are you?
M: Fine, your honor, how are you?
J: Good thank you. Ms. Smith, Orchard Bank alleges you owe them a debt in the amount of $2,825.68. Do you dispute this?
M: No, sir.
J: Would you like to try and work out a payment plan with them?
M: Yes, your honor.
J: OK, one of our mediation specialists will be with you shortly.
Good luck to you.
At this point, you get to sit back down and wait for the mediator to get to you. Mine was roughly a 29 minute wait. Then the mediator comes and gets you and you go into a little room. NOBODY CAN GO IN THE ROOM WITH YOU...
It's you and the mediator and the mediator calls the collection agency.
Then you wait on hold with them...my mediator said some are better than others.
Then you speak directly with the collection agency unless you're face to face then of course the mediator's talking to both of you, the ultimate goal being to reach a settlement satisfactory.
I came to a resolution mainly because I wanted it over with. Here's a note that, in the midst of it all, I completely forgot: Debt collection agencies BUY THE DEBT from Citibank or Chase or whoever so if they say 'I have to confer with our client' that's crap. Call them on it!!! Really.
The bottom line here is, if you don't have the money, don't promise them crap. If you don't have it, you don't have it. It's going to affect your credit either way.
I hope this helps someone, somehow. If I shared it for nothing, I've put out there.
So, allow me to back up just a bit. Roughly a week prior to my court date, I started googling various terms: 'small claims court', 'mediation' and the like. I wanted to know what would happen. What I got was all about the plaintiff and what a plaintiff can do, get, demand or expect. The only thing I found regarding defendants was blame, shame and 'well, you shouldn't have gotten yourself into that situation to begin with, you idiot!' and other condescending statements. Oddly, not terribly helpful. I vowed at that moment that whatever I learned and experienced I would write about it so that I could be helpful.
First of all, I will say that, yes, there are people who deliberately use and abuse credit and those people have lessons to learn, punishments to deal with and changes to make. That's not a judgement call that's just how it is.
Secondly, I will also tell you that there are plenty of people, myself included, who got credit cards, loans, revolving accounts and the like when they were holding down decent to great jobs and life was good. I was working for a builder in another state, making north of $40,000 and life was good. I went, not 7 months later, to a lay off. I got another job, making less than $40,000, 2 months later, in real estate.
Fast-forward to March, 2008. I was laid off because I was making more than my bosses, the owners of the company which employed me. I've not worked full-time since. I couldn't get unemployment due to small business regulations in the state I lived in. To save a lot of time, drama and info sharing that I don't wish to bore you with, I did everything I knew to do to pay the minimums on my bills, including moving in with my parents and so forth.
Every time I tried to deal with this particular credit card company they rebuffed me with 'that's not enough money'. Fine. Sue me. So they did. Well, actually, they sold my account to collection agency/law firm. They called and harassed me, suggested I prostitute myself and so forth. Apparently being cruel, inhumane, rude and obnoxious is supposed to milk blood from a turnip. Then they moved on to 'well, if you don't pay us, you'll get summoned to court then you'll have to pay what you owe PLUS court costs.' And this is going to get your your money how??
So,fast-forward to the court date. I go in to the court room and take a seat, because you have to. You may not stand while you wait. It's Small Claims Court. My judge was very efficient. He explained what was going to happen and started calling cases such as Orchard Bank vs. Marie Smith. It goes something like this:
Judge: Orchard Bank vs. Marie Smith
(Orchard Bank appears telephonically [by phone] if need be.
Marie Smith walks up to the podium.
J: Good morning, Ms. Smith, how are you?
M: Fine, your honor, how are you?
J: Good thank you. Ms. Smith, Orchard Bank alleges you owe them a debt in the amount of $2,825.68. Do you dispute this?
M: No, sir.
J: Would you like to try and work out a payment plan with them?
M: Yes, your honor.
J: OK, one of our mediation specialists will be with you shortly.
Good luck to you.
At this point, you get to sit back down and wait for the mediator to get to you. Mine was roughly a 29 minute wait. Then the mediator comes and gets you and you go into a little room. NOBODY CAN GO IN THE ROOM WITH YOU...
It's you and the mediator and the mediator calls the collection agency.
Then you wait on hold with them...my mediator said some are better than others.
Then you speak directly with the collection agency unless you're face to face then of course the mediator's talking to both of you, the ultimate goal being to reach a settlement satisfactory.
I came to a resolution mainly because I wanted it over with. Here's a note that, in the midst of it all, I completely forgot: Debt collection agencies BUY THE DEBT from Citibank or Chase or whoever so if they say 'I have to confer with our client' that's crap. Call them on it!!! Really.
The bottom line here is, if you don't have the money, don't promise them crap. If you don't have it, you don't have it. It's going to affect your credit either way.
I hope this helps someone, somehow. If I shared it for nothing, I've put out there.
Monday, April 13, 2009
A Reason For Everthing...All Things For a Reason
I believe, quite firmly, in fact, that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it takes a long time to discover what's behind door number 1 but everything does happen for a reason. I also believe firmly that God will never give you more than He knows you can handle. That can be a problem an issue when You are looking at it as much bigger than you can handle. Sometimes it's all about perspective.
Ah, perspective. So, as I have gone through being un- and under-employed, being harassed, having all the twists and turns of the last 2 years, I go back to the idea that there is a purpose for all of this. Something bigger than I know about; like you cannot tell anyone else about an experience you have not had. Let me share an experience I'm about to have.
I am going to court tomorrow over a credit card debt. It's a pre-trial mediation hearing. Now for the rest of the story, as it were.
I went from a job that paid $33,000 to a job that paid $43,000 so I bought real furniture and got a credit card; not my 1st credit card but a credit card nonetheless. Little did I realize, 5 months later I would be the first of many a layoff. I also went to 2/3 of $33,000 for unemployment for 2 months then landed a now job. I know, you're thinking 'that's great!' and it was except it was $5,000 less than I had been making. When you adjust your life to what you're making, it's hard to adjust it back, especially when you have neither a warning and planning time or a safety net. My safety nets were my credit cards, 2 of them. I still tried my hardest to make some kind of payment. When I didn't, the phone calls started. Harassment, assumptions, mental cruelty, rude and demeaning and the list of awful goes on.
I tried and tried to explain that I was unemployed (even though I still made tiny payments at that time thinking something was better than nothing) then underemployed then unemployed again to no avail. As if I was sitting on $4,000 and not paying them just for the fun of experiencing the joy that is collections.
I was laid off a second time in 18 months and 3 weeks later my mother was in a serious car accident which took me to FL for two weeks, back to Raleigh to pack up my life in about 2 weeks time to move back to FL. It was, to say the least, very chaotic. Somewhere in the whole mess, I had received a collection threat letter/offer to settle but again, it was not an olive branch but rather a 'do as we say or else' letter.
Fast forward to fall of 2008. I got a letter from an attorney saying I needed to call them to discuss a settlement or payment plan. Yeah, right!! I called and was basically harassed and yelled at and treated like I'm not human and the concept of 'I don't have a job or money and, no, I can't ask anyone for money to pay your asses back!' I asked the guy if I should go whore myself out and he said 'you do what you gotta do.' Hello?!
So....after that lovely conversation, about 3 weeks ago I was served papers to appear in court for a pre-trial mediation conference at the court house. I believe that everything happens for a reason and there is a reason for this, aside from trying to come up with a solution to the 'I would love to honor my debt and pay you except I have no money.' issue.
I know there is a reason that I don't see or understand right now for this. I also know that this too shall pass. It's really too bad that, rather than attempt logical solutions like suspending late fees, over-the-limit fees and 'just because we feel like it fees' as, logically, if someone cannot make their minimum payment or even part of it, they clearly cannot pay the other 10 fees imposed upon them.
On the other side of it, I absolutely intended and still would like to honor my debt. My other creditors have settled on payment plans with me but not this last one. I am not alone but I wouldn't wish this on anyone. However, I know for sure that God will never give me more than I can handle and this too shall pass.
Ah, perspective. So, as I have gone through being un- and under-employed, being harassed, having all the twists and turns of the last 2 years, I go back to the idea that there is a purpose for all of this. Something bigger than I know about; like you cannot tell anyone else about an experience you have not had. Let me share an experience I'm about to have.
I am going to court tomorrow over a credit card debt. It's a pre-trial mediation hearing. Now for the rest of the story, as it were.
I went from a job that paid $33,000 to a job that paid $43,000 so I bought real furniture and got a credit card; not my 1st credit card but a credit card nonetheless. Little did I realize, 5 months later I would be the first of many a layoff. I also went to 2/3 of $33,000 for unemployment for 2 months then landed a now job. I know, you're thinking 'that's great!' and it was except it was $5,000 less than I had been making. When you adjust your life to what you're making, it's hard to adjust it back, especially when you have neither a warning and planning time or a safety net. My safety nets were my credit cards, 2 of them. I still tried my hardest to make some kind of payment. When I didn't, the phone calls started. Harassment, assumptions, mental cruelty, rude and demeaning and the list of awful goes on.
I tried and tried to explain that I was unemployed (even though I still made tiny payments at that time thinking something was better than nothing) then underemployed then unemployed again to no avail. As if I was sitting on $4,000 and not paying them just for the fun of experiencing the joy that is collections.
I was laid off a second time in 18 months and 3 weeks later my mother was in a serious car accident which took me to FL for two weeks, back to Raleigh to pack up my life in about 2 weeks time to move back to FL. It was, to say the least, very chaotic. Somewhere in the whole mess, I had received a collection threat letter/offer to settle but again, it was not an olive branch but rather a 'do as we say or else' letter.
Fast forward to fall of 2008. I got a letter from an attorney saying I needed to call them to discuss a settlement or payment plan. Yeah, right!! I called and was basically harassed and yelled at and treated like I'm not human and the concept of 'I don't have a job or money and, no, I can't ask anyone for money to pay your asses back!' I asked the guy if I should go whore myself out and he said 'you do what you gotta do.' Hello?!
So....after that lovely conversation, about 3 weeks ago I was served papers to appear in court for a pre-trial mediation conference at the court house. I believe that everything happens for a reason and there is a reason for this, aside from trying to come up with a solution to the 'I would love to honor my debt and pay you except I have no money.' issue.
I know there is a reason that I don't see or understand right now for this. I also know that this too shall pass. It's really too bad that, rather than attempt logical solutions like suspending late fees, over-the-limit fees and 'just because we feel like it fees' as, logically, if someone cannot make their minimum payment or even part of it, they clearly cannot pay the other 10 fees imposed upon them.
On the other side of it, I absolutely intended and still would like to honor my debt. My other creditors have settled on payment plans with me but not this last one. I am not alone but I wouldn't wish this on anyone. However, I know for sure that God will never give me more than I can handle and this too shall pass.
A Reason For Everthing...All Things For a Reason
I believe, quite firmly, in fact, that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it takes a long time to discover what's behind door number 1 but everything does happen for a reason. I also believe firmly that God will never give you more than He knows you can handle. That can be a problem an issue when You are looking at it as much bigger than you can handle. Sometimes it's all about perspective.
Ah, perspective. So, as I have gone through being un- and under-employed, being harassed, having all the twists and turns of the last 2 years, I go back to the idea that there is a purpose for all of this. Something bigger than I know about; like you cannot tell anyone else about an experience you have not had. Let me share an experience I'm about to have.
I am going to court tomorrow over a credit card debt. It's a pre-trial mediation hearing. Now for the rest of the story, as it were.
I went from a job that paid $33,000 to a job that paid $43,000 so I bought real furniture and got a credit card; not my 1st credit card but a credit card nonetheless. Little did I realize, 5 months later I would be the first of many a layoff. I also went to 2/3 of $33,000 for unemployment for 2 months then landed a now job. I know, you're thinking 'that's great!' and it was except it was $5,000 less than I had been making. When you adjust your life to what you're making, it's hard to adjust it back, especially when you have neither a warning and planning time or a safety net. My safety nets were my credit cards, 2 of them. I still tried my hardest to make some kind of payment. When I didn't, the phone calls started. Harassment, assumptions, mental cruelty, rude and demeaning and the list of awful goes on.
I tried and tried to explain that I was unemployed (even though I still made tiny payments at that time thinking something was better than nothing) then underemployed then unemployed again to no avail. As if I was sitting on $4,000 and not paying them just for the fun of experiencing the joy that is collections.
I was laid off a second time in 18 months and 3 weeks later my mother was in a serious car accident which took me to FL for two weeks, back to Raleigh to pack up my life in about 2 weeks time to move back to FL. It was, to say the least, very chaotic. Somewhere in the whole mess, I had received a collection threat letter/offer to settle but again, it was not an olive branch but rather a 'do as we say or else' letter.
Fast forward to fall of 2008. I got a letter from an attorney saying I needed to call them to discuss a settlement or payment plan. Yeah, right!! I called and was basically harassed and yelled at and treated like I'm not human and the concept of 'I don't have a job or money and, no, I can't ask anyone for money to pay your asses back!' I asked the guy if I should go whore myself out and he said 'you do what you gotta do.' Hello?!
So....after that lovely conversation, about 3 weeks ago I was served papers to appear in court for a pre-trial mediation conference at the court house. I believe that everything happens for a reason and there is a reason for this, aside from trying to come up with a solution to the 'I would love to honor my debt and pay you except I have no money.' issue.
I know there is a reason that I don't see or understand right now for this. I also know that this too shall pass. It's really too bad that, rather than attempt logical solutions like suspending late fees, over-the-limit fees and 'just because we feel like it fees' as, logically, if someone cannot make their minimum payment or even part of it, they clearly cannot pay the other 10 fees imposed upon them.
On the other side of it, I absolutely intended and still would like to honor my debt. My other creditors have settled on payment plans with me
Ah, perspective. So, as I have gone through being un- and under-employed, being harassed, having all the twists and turns of the last 2 years, I go back to the idea that there is a purpose for all of this. Something bigger than I know about; like you cannot tell anyone else about an experience you have not had. Let me share an experience I'm about to have.
I am going to court tomorrow over a credit card debt. It's a pre-trial mediation hearing. Now for the rest of the story, as it were.
I went from a job that paid $33,000 to a job that paid $43,000 so I bought real furniture and got a credit card; not my 1st credit card but a credit card nonetheless. Little did I realize, 5 months later I would be the first of many a layoff. I also went to 2/3 of $33,000 for unemployment for 2 months then landed a now job. I know, you're thinking 'that's great!' and it was except it was $5,000 less than I had been making. When you adjust your life to what you're making, it's hard to adjust it back, especially when you have neither a warning and planning time or a safety net. My safety nets were my credit cards, 2 of them. I still tried my hardest to make some kind of payment. When I didn't, the phone calls started. Harassment, assumptions, mental cruelty, rude and demeaning and the list of awful goes on.
I tried and tried to explain that I was unemployed (even though I still made tiny payments at that time thinking something was better than nothing) then underemployed then unemployed again to no avail. As if I was sitting on $4,000 and not paying them just for the fun of experiencing the joy that is collections.
I was laid off a second time in 18 months and 3 weeks later my mother was in a serious car accident which took me to FL for two weeks, back to Raleigh to pack up my life in about 2 weeks time to move back to FL. It was, to say the least, very chaotic. Somewhere in the whole mess, I had received a collection threat letter/offer to settle but again, it was not an olive branch but rather a 'do as we say or else' letter.
Fast forward to fall of 2008. I got a letter from an attorney saying I needed to call them to discuss a settlement or payment plan. Yeah, right!! I called and was basically harassed and yelled at and treated like I'm not human and the concept of 'I don't have a job or money and, no, I can't ask anyone for money to pay your asses back!' I asked the guy if I should go whore myself out and he said 'you do what you gotta do.' Hello?!
So....after that lovely conversation, about 3 weeks ago I was served papers to appear in court for a pre-trial mediation conference at the court house. I believe that everything happens for a reason and there is a reason for this, aside from trying to come up with a solution to the 'I would love to honor my debt and pay you except I have no money.' issue.
I know there is a reason that I don't see or understand right now for this. I also know that this too shall pass. It's really too bad that, rather than attempt logical solutions like suspending late fees, over-the-limit fees and 'just because we feel like it fees' as, logically, if someone cannot make their minimum payment or even part of it, they clearly cannot pay the other 10 fees imposed upon them.
On the other side of it, I absolutely intended and still would like to honor my debt. My other creditors have settled on payment plans with me
Thursday, April 2, 2009
A Good Day
So....first it starts with rain and realtors then it goes into 'let's get teeth pulled' and ends with a car accident. Life's lovely.
I'm left with a few lessons, a massive headache, 2 more holes in my head, a bumper and fender that need replaced and a dorky story to tell.
I'm left with a few lessons, a massive headache, 2 more holes in my head, a bumper and fender that need replaced and a dorky story to tell.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Parallel Lines
I was pondering the 'big picture' reality of our country at the moment versus my personal sphere and something interesting dawned on me. It frightened and intrigued me at the same time. I want to be a mom very much and the idea of having another little human excites me. Then I think about the state of our country and my mind says 'well, wait a minute...is bringing a baby into this the most responsible move ever?'
I ponder often as I read, chat, blog, try to absorb and then repeat that whole process! I believe in my mission, my person, my family and my country; what stumps me though is my lack of believe, faith and confidence in our leaders, in the big picture.
I ponder often as I read, chat, blog, try to absorb and then repeat that whole process! I believe in my mission, my person, my family and my country; what stumps me though is my lack of believe, faith and confidence in our leaders, in the big picture.
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