Too good to be True

So I'm having this discussion with a close friend of mine who, as it happens, is a great guy any girl would be blessed to call her man. I wish there was chemistry b/c that's how much he rocks. Alas, no chemistry. So we're close friends. So we're having this discussion about why he's single and why I'm single. We are not your typical male & female specimens. We are, in essence, 'too good to be true' for the opposite sex. What do I mean, you ask?

Well, society says women should be catty, back-stabbing, vain, sports-hating, sexually ambivalent creatures who say one thing, mean another and love to shop, among other things. We've gotten to where there are more and more single women waiting longer and longer to get married, not settling or getting married just so they can get divorced. However, very few are like me. So what's so special about me you ask? I am unique in that I am not a shopper....at all . I like Christmas shopping but in small doses. I go shopping when the urge strikes...as it did a few weeks back. I literally put down what I was doing, grabbed my wristlet [smallest purse EVER!] and keys and off Sophie & I went to the mall to NY & Co. We shopped. We liked it. That is beyond rare. Maybe once a year that happens. I go when I MUST. For example, working out has lifted my butt which changes how my pants fit and thusly I needed some new pants. No, I would rather sit thru 6 hours of pre-baseball, more pre-baseball and then baseball and repeat that several days per week for about 2 months! That makes me happy. Putting my own windshield washer fluid in Sophie makes me happy. I won't ever ask my man [when I have own] to get up during a game because I won't get up unless I gotta pee. And let me tell you, TMI as it may be, I am 1 of the fastest pee-ers on earth. I get pissy when I miss a pitch or a hit or an out or anything. I am a 5 sport girl. I am also honest and forthright. I love when chick mags talk about 'what she means vs. what she says' and then it says in parentheses 'show this to your man'. My hypothetical man doesn't need to see that because if I say 'have a great time, go on with your bad self.' that is what I mean. I'm not mad and there won't be a talk later. I yell at the TV and that list goes on. I actually [gasp!] love sex. I like my body. It's not perfect but I like me. I don't feel the need to criticize myself, my body or anyone else or their selves either. Oh and I hate, hate, hate drama! Loathe it. When it's around me I'm not a happy girl b/c I try to lead a drama free existence. That doesn't work but it's closer to none than 'let's go see if we can create some drama!' Drama is for TVs and remotes shut it off! And yes, if you know me, you know that this is me, for realsies...there is no other shoe waiting to drop. The controlling bitch isn't coming out b/c she doesn't exist in me. I am simply me and she rocks but a lot of people think she is too good to be true. Which brings me to my close guy friend.

He is a sports fan as well. He is one of those people who is a people magnet. If he is your friend, he'll do anything for you. He's honest, blunt, strong and real. He is not a jerk or an ass, he isn't looking to get some and he's not a player. He likes making people happy and he is great at it. He is chivalrous, smart, funny, honest, great character. He's also good looking. Not in that, celebrity hottie way but in that classic good looks kinda way. Probably makes no sense, huh? He is protective but he is also great at promoting causes, things and people. :) He is also trustworthy. He wants to settle down, get married, have a family and the 2.4 kids. When someone figures out how you have 'point anything of a kid' please share. Thanks. Digressing, so we are talking about this whole 'why are we really great peoplewho are single when the prissy, stuck up drama-mama bitches and asshole player men all have people. Or at least it would appear as such.

I said, 'we both have the same problem.' We are too good to be true. We are in fact great, funny, smart, fab people who would make fantastic, very real partners. The hard part is that people don't trust stuff outside the status quo. Admittedly, for the most part if it's advertised it probably is too good to be true. [but wait there's more.....] You can do 2 minutes of exercise per day and lose 20 # in 2 weeks. Sure, yeah right....and snow sticks in NC! However at a certain point, you gotta let go and have faith that God will take care of you if you just ask for it and you have to re-build faith in yourself and give it a shot. There would be nothing west of the Mississippi were people not brave and adventurous. I told him we will both find our persons in 2008. Do I know this for sure? No. I just have faith in it. I believe it. [Everybody laughed when I said the Red Sox had to win the World Series because I needed my hoodie...I'm wearing my hoodie.] Bottom line: we aren't too good to be true. We're just different and different is hard to trust in our world in 2008.

New Years Eve Time to Reflect

So in my oh-so-glam life, it's NYE yet again. This will be the last one I spend by myself. Then again it's only 10 after 9 so several people I know could decide to be spontaneous closer to midnite. Something struck me as interesting the other night. OK, it was more like "huh?" I went out with some good friends to an event Friday night and when I asked 'is anyone planning anything for NYE?' the answer I got back was 'it's all about having someone to kiss at midnite and when you haven't got someone special it's depressing.' OK, well then. I've always looked at NYE as 3 basic things. 1) A chance to reflect on the past year [for this last year that would be a LONG entry], 2) a chance to plan to better oneself in the upcoming year [something I'm really, honestly looking forward to this year] and 3) it's 18 days til my birthday!! [Another reason I try to just deal with winter. UGH. However, I digress!

SO I ran across a theory earlier this year that you don't repeat an experience if you learn from it and recognize the lesson. God decides you have learn the lesson and on you move. I like that theory and God knows I've learned a lot this year.

So, the bad things. Not making the $$ with the job I'm in that I need to be making. Not having insurance. The ring drama. The subsequent bank crap. Seeing one of my once-closest friends in a not-so-pretty light. Kicking Robert to the curb. Going without sex. Not volunteering or going to church as intended. Not working on finding a boyfriend/permanent man for myself. Sophie getting crunched a smidge. [Sophie is my car & she's fine save for a few scrapes that you only see if you're really, really close to her.] The hottie bartender saga-D's is closed, thankfully so that drama crap is permanently over.

OK, now for the GOOD things!! I have a job I love in an industry that's addictive. Again, that whole not great $$, no insurance thing. Again, I digress. I have a beautiful apartment, my garden, in spite of NC's 15" range shortage, rocked it. 1/2 of it is still kicking on 12/31. We've not had a hard freeze but the plants will be inside when that happens. :) More good stuff...going to Canes games, finding meetups [thanks BFF Vonda!!] and subsequently the Red Sox meet up group, sitting thru HOW many hours of Joe "I love to listen to myself talk" Buck commentate prior to an 8:30 or whenever the hell we feel like starting the game...WINNING THE WORLD SERIES!! [I got my hoodie, I got my hoodie!!! Yeah, Yeah!!], meeting Sean, Amy and the rest of the great fantastic fans I now count as great friends, working with Diane, having my fabulous Sophie, my two dats in relatively good health, going to church more, a summer that went on and on and on...LOVE THAT!!, going to DC for TG, spending Christmas with Dad, etal in Maine, signing up for eharmony, knowing my friends, working out more, trying to kick CFS's butt [I'm not doing so hot at that but darned if won't keep on trying!] and so on.

So no, it is NOT about kissing someone at midnite, though that so WILL be happening next year! It's about renewal, starting again, reflecting, taking the wheat from the chaff [sp?] and moving on, hopefully a stronger, better person for all of it. Happy New Year!!!